The Gay Super Bowl
Observations (and questions) from the Academy Awards show on Sunday night:
--For a second there I thought Jamie Foxx was R. Kelly. Then my girlfriend told me that the little girl sitting next to him was his daughter.
--Robin Williams' act is getting old. He just doesn't make me laugh like he used to.
--Bringing all the nominees for the less glamorous awards out on stage reminds me of American Idol or the Miss America Pageant.
--Beyonce sang three of the five nominated Best Songs. Overkill, don't you think?. I was waiting for Jay-Z to jump up there and bust some freestyle.
--Chris Rock's man on the street interviews at the ghetto plex were kinda funny, but still too Leno-esque. It was good to see Martin Lawrence is trying to get away from the crazy black man stereotype.
--Scarlett Johansson could wear a Hefty bag and shave her hair into a mohawk and I'd still find her attractive. That voice. That ASS.
--Scorsese shouldn't even bother showing up at the Oscars anymore. Does he really need to be validated? Any guy in this country under the age of 40 can quote the "So I'm a clown?" speech from Goodfellas.
--Watching that Carson tribute montage made me realize how underrated Johnny was when it came to hosting award shows. That man was solid. Sorry Dave, but "Uma.....Oprah" is your Oscar legacy.
--Sidney Lumet is directing a new movie with VIN DIESEL? A courtroom drama from the looks of it. What the fuck? Can the Academy take back a lifetime acheivement award?
--It's about time Morgan Freeman won.
--Adam Sandler hasn't been funny since Happy Gilmore. No, Remote Control. What ever happened to Ken Ober anyway?
--Penelope Cruz & Salma Hayek are best seen and not heard.
--Antonio Banderas singing with Carlos Santana? I guess Rob Thomas wasn't available. How long before Antonio goes on tour to every House of Blues in the country with his own shitty band? I liked it when the guy who wrote that song got up to accept the award and sang it the right way.
--And what was Prince doing there announcing the winner for Best Song? He won't show up at the Grammys to accept his own award. Odd.
--Sean Penn needs to lighten up. Jude Law is not one of our greatest young actors. He's the new Steve Guttenberg.
--Hilary Swank remembered to thank her husband this time. But what about Pat Morita?
--The chick with the inflated tits in the balcony got more camera time than Annette Benning. I'm not saying that's a bad thing.
--Now that he's won Best Actor, let's hope Jamie Foxx doesn't go down the same road as Cuba Gooding Jr. His agent should immediately shred scripts from Disney and anything involving Horatio Sanz.
--I loved that they closed the show with the theme from The Terminator. I was hoping Ahnuld would come out and thank everybody for visiting Caulifornya.
--For a second there I thought Jamie Foxx was R. Kelly. Then my girlfriend told me that the little girl sitting next to him was his daughter.
--Robin Williams' act is getting old. He just doesn't make me laugh like he used to.
--Bringing all the nominees for the less glamorous awards out on stage reminds me of American Idol or the Miss America Pageant.
--Beyonce sang three of the five nominated Best Songs. Overkill, don't you think?. I was waiting for Jay-Z to jump up there and bust some freestyle.
--Chris Rock's man on the street interviews at the ghetto plex were kinda funny, but still too Leno-esque. It was good to see Martin Lawrence is trying to get away from the crazy black man stereotype.
--Scarlett Johansson could wear a Hefty bag and shave her hair into a mohawk and I'd still find her attractive. That voice. That ASS.
--Scorsese shouldn't even bother showing up at the Oscars anymore. Does he really need to be validated? Any guy in this country under the age of 40 can quote the "So I'm a clown?" speech from Goodfellas.
--Watching that Carson tribute montage made me realize how underrated Johnny was when it came to hosting award shows. That man was solid. Sorry Dave, but "Uma.....Oprah" is your Oscar legacy.
--Sidney Lumet is directing a new movie with VIN DIESEL? A courtroom drama from the looks of it. What the fuck? Can the Academy take back a lifetime acheivement award?
--It's about time Morgan Freeman won.
--Adam Sandler hasn't been funny since Happy Gilmore. No, Remote Control. What ever happened to Ken Ober anyway?
--Penelope Cruz & Salma Hayek are best seen and not heard.
--Antonio Banderas singing with Carlos Santana? I guess Rob Thomas wasn't available. How long before Antonio goes on tour to every House of Blues in the country with his own shitty band? I liked it when the guy who wrote that song got up to accept the award and sang it the right way.
--And what was Prince doing there announcing the winner for Best Song? He won't show up at the Grammys to accept his own award. Odd.
--Sean Penn needs to lighten up. Jude Law is not one of our greatest young actors. He's the new Steve Guttenberg.
--Hilary Swank remembered to thank her husband this time. But what about Pat Morita?
--The chick with the inflated tits in the balcony got more camera time than Annette Benning. I'm not saying that's a bad thing.
--Now that he's won Best Actor, let's hope Jamie Foxx doesn't go down the same road as Cuba Gooding Jr. His agent should immediately shred scripts from Disney and anything involving Horatio Sanz.
--I loved that they closed the show with the theme from The Terminator. I was hoping Ahnuld would come out and thank everybody for visiting Caulifornya.
posted by Brian at 2:37 PM
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