BUBBLIN' BUBBLIN'

A couple of years ago my friend Scotty came over to play a season on Madden and noticed the three foot Leaning Tower of Laundry piled up in the corner of my bedroom. I hate doing laundry.

Scotty: "Dude, how often do you wash your clothes?"
Me: "I usually wait until I have to pole vault over them to get into bed."
Scotty: "You should drop that shit off at Bubbleland."

Bubbleland?

Me: "Huh?"
Scotty: "Bubbleland. Eighty cents a pound. These little Puerto Rican and Mexican ladies wash, dry, and fold everything up for you. Done in 5 hours, sometimes less. And they're open 24 hours."
Me: "No shit?"
Scotty: "No shit."
Me: "What about sticky bed sheets?"
Scotty: "Sure."
Me: "Skidmark underwear?"
Scotty: "Dude, they use rubber gloves. You can't faze them."

Good enough for me. Some people may find it odd to have a complete stranger handling your boxers, but I could care less as long as they get them clean.

I left Scotty to try and swing a trade for Marshall Faulk and headed over to the Pee Wee's Playhouse of laundromats six blocks away.

The exterior facade and interior walls of Bubbleland are splashed in day-glo pastels, and a logo of a bubble with a smiley face is everywhere. The cashiers don't handle any money. You have to purchase a Bubbleland card (kind of like the debit card at a Dave & Busters or Gameworks) and put cash on it ala the fare card machine at an L station.

I dropped my 55 pounds of clothes, towels and sheets on the scale, signed my name and number and was on my way. Four hours later I get the call:

"Hallo Meester Brian, jor laundree es readeeee."

Lupe, you had me at "hallo".

These days the women of Bubbleland like to fight over me when I come by. Depending on who is working I'm greeted as "my huzban", "my boyfren", or "Papi". They give rib crushing hugs and tips on good Mexican restaurants. When I was gimping around on crutches last winter they even carried my baskets to and from the car for me.

If they served beer I'd hang out there all the time.

DecisionElectionVoteWatch2004

Rather than get into political beliefs and provisional ballots, I thought I'd just post my observations from watching the election coverage on the various networks last night.

CNN: Larry King looks like he belongs in Madame Tussaud's, Wolf Blitzer needs a valium, and Tucker Carlson shops at Senator Paul Simon's 1940s MensWear Emporium.

Fox News Channel: Brit Hume sounded like Ben Stein without the sense of humor. They did have some snazzy graphics and sound effects though. I was waiting for weather slut Jillian Barberie to appear and give us the acceptance speech forecast.

CBS-2 (local): This was the only channel I saw broadcasting Alan Keyes' concession speech, where he rambled on about integrity and said he's staying here in Illinois. I wonder just how long he'll be living in Calumet City. A woman (I assume it was his wife) stood behind him, nodded and looked like she'd rather be having root canal surgery. Supporters continually held up "Keyes" placards and blocked the camera's view of the podium.

NBC-5 (local): Political analyist and future department store Santa Dick Kay gave a kinda sorta goodbye/retirement speech. But then he hinted he might be back to cover primaries in the next few years. He may just be the Michael Jordan of political reporters.

ABC-7 (local): Cheryl Burton "interviewed" Barack Obama after his acceptance speech. I say "interviewed" because she acted like a teenage girl at a Backstreet Boys concert. A few more minutes and I think Cheryl might have pulled down Obama's pants and played Kool and the Gang's "Celebration" on his skin flute.