Dogpark and Z (Weird) Boys
My girlfriend and I moved in together last month. So far, so good on the cohabitation. We're learning more about each other's quirky little habits, and at this point neither of us have discovered anything too disturbing. Just wait until she finds my stash of Eskimo MILF bukkake tapes.
I actually have two new roommates. She brought her dog Milo into the apartment too. He's a three year old rat terrier mix, and while he isn't a bad dog he's just too cat-like for my tastes. Milo had the run of the place at Kirstin's old house, and is used to sleeping in bed with her and lounging on the couch. Hey bub, those are my areas. We're slowly breaking him of these habits and I'm teaching him the basics like "sit", "lay down", and "go lick your cock somewhere else".
There's a dog park down the street at Damen and Churchill. It's probably three times the size of the run in Wicker Park and is completely fenced in. The first couple of times we took Milo there he didn't do anything but sit at our feet and stare up at us. Now if he had the chance to dash out the door at home he'd be gone for an hour, but when we actually took him off the leash at the park and set him free he just froze up.
After awhile he started warming up to whole dog park scene, and at this point he's practically a veteran. There are a lot of unusual breeds there. And then there are the dogs.
First we have Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski meets Scotty (the "I'm a fucking idiot!" guy played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman) from Boogie Nights
This guy is a professional dog walker. He pulls up in a minivan and spends a good 15 minutes running two or three at a time from his vehicle into the park. I've seen him there with as many as 10 dogs, and I don't know how he keeps track of which ones are with him. The other day he came up to me as we were leaving and asked "Is that J-PEG or Bandit?" He thought I was either a client or was stealing one of his pups.
Mini-Trump
This well dressed asshole is always talking on his cellphone about "big deals coming down the pike" and what "could be a huge financial windfall for us". He has a large German shepherd who runs around tormenting other dogs while he sits on the bench and tries to broker the Deal of the Century.
Doc Brown from Back to the Future
A creepy older man who slithers in and out of the park. I'm not sure which dog is his, or if he even has one, because he usually just leans up against the fence and stares at the wall. Then he disappears. I bet he drives a cargo van and hangs out near grade schools.
I actually have two new roommates. She brought her dog Milo into the apartment too. He's a three year old rat terrier mix, and while he isn't a bad dog he's just too cat-like for my tastes. Milo had the run of the place at Kirstin's old house, and is used to sleeping in bed with her and lounging on the couch. Hey bub, those are my areas. We're slowly breaking him of these habits and I'm teaching him the basics like "sit", "lay down", and "go lick your cock somewhere else".
There's a dog park down the street at Damen and Churchill. It's probably three times the size of the run in Wicker Park and is completely fenced in. The first couple of times we took Milo there he didn't do anything but sit at our feet and stare up at us. Now if he had the chance to dash out the door at home he'd be gone for an hour, but when we actually took him off the leash at the park and set him free he just froze up.
After awhile he started warming up to whole dog park scene, and at this point he's practically a veteran. There are a lot of unusual breeds there. And then there are the dogs.
First we have Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski meets Scotty (the "I'm a fucking idiot!" guy played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman) from Boogie Nights
This guy is a professional dog walker. He pulls up in a minivan and spends a good 15 minutes running two or three at a time from his vehicle into the park. I've seen him there with as many as 10 dogs, and I don't know how he keeps track of which ones are with him. The other day he came up to me as we were leaving and asked "Is that J-PEG or Bandit?" He thought I was either a client or was stealing one of his pups.
Mini-Trump
This well dressed asshole is always talking on his cellphone about "big deals coming down the pike" and what "could be a huge financial windfall for us". He has a large German shepherd who runs around tormenting other dogs while he sits on the bench and tries to broker the Deal of the Century.
Doc Brown from Back to the Future
A creepy older man who slithers in and out of the park. I'm not sure which dog is his, or if he even has one, because he usually just leans up against the fence and stares at the wall. Then he disappears. I bet he drives a cargo van and hangs out near grade schools.
posted by Brian at 4:29 PM
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